


beer is going to set us free

by lurKINGaroundd



Series: that 70's show au [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bonding, Confessions, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, MJ Is A Little Shit, Peter is a Little Shit, Romance, That 70's Show AU no one asked, That 70's Show AU no one needed, everyone is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 05:16:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16469471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurKINGaroundd/pseuds/lurKINGaroundd
Summary: Michelle really liked Peter.For her, there was nothing meaningless about whatever they were doing together.MJ didn’t know about him, though.That 70's Show AU that no one asked and no one needed, but I wrote it anyway.





	beer is going to set us free

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! 
> 
> I strongly recommend you to read the whole series, so it can make sense, beginning here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16400438
> 
> Seriously, thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate all the support.
> 
> Again, special thanks to @sodafizzyart on tumblr. She drew another amazing art about the girls of this AU, and more, go to her @ and check it out! 
> 
> I hope I don't disappoint! Please, enjoy.

The stupid helmet.

Everyone of the gang was held victim of the stupid helmet at one point, except for Michelle Jones.

But her time finally came, because apparently, to her friends, MJ was being very stupid.

She was there, at the basement, as always, but this time, sitting on a chair, with an orange football helmet on her head.

Betty, Ned and Flash were the ones who condemned her to the stupid helmet.

“You need to break this thing off with Peter!” Betty declared and gave a slap to the helmet.

“Ow.” Michelle complained, and grimaced due to the hit on her head. “I already said there’s nothing to break off!”

The stupid helmet wasn’t meant to cause physical pain, it was just so damn annoying.

“That’s not what it looked like when I caught you eating his face just an hour ago!” Betty said back.

Ned just nodded. He was part of the stupid helmet ritual, but apparently he didn’t want to confront MJ. 

He wanted to protect the gang, but Ned was also Peter’s best friend, so he was confused about his place in all of this.

Flash was just so happy that they finally had a reason to get Michelle to go under the stupid helmet.

MJ wondered how she and Peter managed to hide themselves for an entire month if they were so bad at it.

“Don’t make me end this right now. I still didn’t get him shirtless. Help a sister out, Betty.” Michelle suggestively said, in a sarcastic manner. “We didn’t even do it.”

“Ew!” Ned whined.

“That’s it, I’m throwing up on you, Jones.” Flash commented.

Betty tried to argue. “Jones, if Gwen finds out-” 

The door opened, interrupting Betty’s words.

“Hey guys, I forgot my purse-” Gwen said as she entered the basement. She looked at the scene before her. “Stupid helmet?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Flash answered immediately, worried if she had heard something.

“What did Jones do?” Gwen questioned.

Ned grew nervous. “She… uh… she punched a cop in the face.”

Michelle kicked Ned’s leg lightly.

“Oh.” Gwen simply said, and got her purse. “I gotta go. Carry on.”

“Oh. My. God. Had she been a second earlier she would have heard everything!” Betty exclaimed. “You have to end this, Jones!”

“Ugh, it’s not that deep.” MJ complained.

This time it was Flash the one to hit her in the head. 

Michelle gave him a fiery look, but he knew he was safe. 

What happens during the stupid helmet ritual stays in the ritual.

“Okay, then.” Betty said. “If it doesn’t mean anything… How would you react if Peter went out with someone else? Or worse, what if he got back to Gwen, huh?” 

“What’s your point?” MJ didn’t like the way this conversation was going.

“What I mean is… How would you feel? What would you do?”

“I would… I would feel… I would…” Michelle tried to come up with answer.

“Break their legs?” Flash gave suggestions. “Trash their car? You always say shit like that.”

“Yeah, I mean, No! I don’t know. What kind of question is this?” MJ felt cornered.

Ned sighed. “Betty is just asking if you would feel jealous, that’s all.”

Michelle opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

Betty seemed tired, and got the helmet out of MJ’s head. “You need to figure it out, and see if it’s worthy damaging our gang over it.”

And then Michelle was left alone in her basement, dealing with the post traumatic experience of being confronted for being stupid while wearing the stupid helmet.

“I’m telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man.” Michelle’s voice echoed in between the smokes of the circle. “They just don’t want us to know, because then we would buy all the water. Then, there would be nothing left to drink but beer. And the government knows that beer… set us free.”

Peter thought about how MJ would react when she discovered all the things Stark invented.

“Alright, Jones.” Flash said. “You already told us about the car a million times. Can we please talk about how hungry and horny I am?”

Ned laughed. “God, no.”

Betty rolled her eyes. “Yeah, hungry and horny are old news too. I feel like I’m Luke Skywalker working on uncle Owen’s farm all day. So boring.”

“Betty, enough with Star Wars crap.” Gwen argued. “Whatever you talk about that stuff I frown, and when I frown my skin wrinkles.”

“Yeah, we get it. You’re good looking. Doesn’t anybody have anything new to say?” Michelle asked.

Everyone was in silence.

MJ started talking again. “So, there’s this car that runs on water-”

Peter threw a beer can at her direction, and the rest of the gang followed suit.

“Okay, okay, fine!” Michelle protected herself with her arms. “Anyway, I heard about this country in Africa, man. It’s called Wakanda, and they have the most evolved technology shit in the whole world!”

Everyone laughed, after all, it was just one of many conspiracy theories from MJ that didn’t make sense.

Peter was in shock, because where the hell did she hear about that?

Michelle’s source of theories were pretty efficient sometimes, only sometimes.

And of all theories in the world, she was avoiding to believe in the one about how she really felt about Peter.

The one that Betty suggested she would feel jealous about Peter being with someone else.

The next day as she left the school’s library, slightly mad about not finding a book she wanted to read, Michelle saw Peter. And Gwen. Talking. Normal.

Except now she had Betty’s words inside her head. 

Naturally, she discarded the uncomfortable feeling as something stupid she only had felt because her mind was under Betty’s influence. 

Also, she was just angry about a book, it could have influenced her too, right?

When Peter smiled that damned smiled of his to the blonde in front of him, deep down, MJ knew she had the answer for her long time friend’s questioning.

Michelle had that answer all along.

She really liked him. 

For her, there was nothing meaningless about whatever they were doing together.

MJ didn’t know about him, though.

Peter Parker opened the door to the basement, like any other afternoon.

“Hey, guys-” He began to say, but his greeting, his smile and enthusiasm faded in the second he found his friends Ned and Betty, standing there, with an orange helmet in hands.

“No, no.” Peter turned, to open the door again, but Flash was already there, guarding the exit. 

He could run away to the stairs, but Ned and Betty were in that direction.

It was trap.

For a second there, he considered throwing Flash across the room and opening the door. 

In the end, he surrendered. 

“No! Not the stupid helmet again!”

Yeah, again, he had been a victim of the stupid helmet before. 

“Anything to say in your defense?” Betty asked.

“I don’t know what this is about.” He played dumb, because he had some idea of what was happening.

Ned slapped the helmet. “Break it off with Jones, and let’s pretend like nothing ever happened!”

“Yeah!” Flash agreed. 

“Ouch! C’mon, Ned! You too?” Peter complained.

“Yeah, me too! You traitor! You didn’t even tell me anything!” 

“Because I was afraid this was exactly what was going to happen!”

“Okay, okay. Peter, look at me.” Betty said seriously. “Let’s suppose Gwen finds out. What do you think it’s going to happen between Jones and her?”

Flash intruded. “War! That’s what’s gonna happen.”

“I don’t get why you guys think Gwen would care that much about who I’m going out with.” Peter replied, incredulous.

“It’s because of the code, you dumbass!” It was Betty’s time to hit the helmet.

Ned sighed and grabbed Peter’s face. “Do you want to see Jones break Gwen’s legs?”

Peter nodded a ‘no’.

“Then do the right thing!” Ned exclaimed.

Peter came to MJ’s defense. “C’mon, guys. Michelle would never do that. These books she’s always reading? They always say it’s bad to do these kind of things.”

“What do you mean Jones has been reading books that are against punching someone in the throat?” Flash confusedly asked. 

“It’s not that.” Peter tried to explain. “It’s more like, she won’t fight other girls?” 

“And since when do you know so much about Jones’s books?” Betty questioned.

Since when she forced him to get a book by Angela Davis from Ms. Potts library. Pepper had a whole shelf only about these kind of books.

But instead of saying that, he said. “Since… I-I don’t know. They’re actually kinda cool.” 

“We lost him.” Flash announced. “He’s a goner.”

What the hell Flash meant with ‘he’s a goner’? Peter wondered.

But before he could think too much about it, Ned started talking again.

“Peter. C’mon, man! You need to run before Jones defiles you!” His best friend tried in a last attempt of damage control in the gang.

For some reason, that drove him a bit mad. As mad as Peter could be.

“You know what? Maybe I want to be defiled by her!” 

Ned gasped. 

In the middle of trying hard to make a point, Peter didn’t pay attention to his dumb choice of words, therefore, he didn’t have time to feel embarrassed about it.

There’s always later to remember what you said, and then bury yourself alive out of shame.

“You guys need to stop acting like you know what’s best for me! For us, you know? Michelle and I aren’t going to… to stop whatever we are doing, and we’ll tell whoever we want, and when we want.” 

In his outburst, Peter got the stupid helmet out of his face, and carefully threw it across the room. He had to be careful, or else he would break it into a million pieces. 

He got out of the basement without slamming the door, because well, angry or not, he was still Peter.

“That was unexpected.” Betty said.

“Yeah, I mean, I was sure Jones would be the one almost murdering us about the stupid helmet.” Flash agreed.

“Do you think he’s mad at me?” Ned asked. “I don’t want him to be mad at me! I hate when he’s mad at me!”

Betty patted his boyfriend’s head, and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, but don’t worry. He’s Peter. He would still jump in front of a bus for you.”

Tiny, cute selfless Peter Parker… Even people not aware of his super abilities knew that he would jump in front of a bus for other people.

Later, when he met with MJ, he asked her about the stupid helmet, and why she didn’t tell him. 

“I had to go through hell, so I took you down with me.” She answered. 

“Of course.” He said as he rolled his eyes.

“Come on, grumpy spider. The stars are beginning to appear.” She grinned at him. “I promise I won’t jump you this time.”

They had combined to meet up at night to watch the stars. 

They both avoided talking about how romantic that actually sounded.

It was just an interest in common, that’s all.

The fact that they weren’t going out to fool around didn’t give much space for an explanation either.

Michelle drove them to out of town on her El Camino. 

Soon, the stars were shining above the couple, as they were lying on the hood of the car. 

Peter looked at MJ, and he never saw her face so relaxed. No smoking, no beer, but she was the most calm he had ever seen. 

The bright of the stars didn’t help his case, because she looked so damn beautiful with the natural light of the night reflecting on her face.

Yeah, that wasn’t like it was with Gwen. Not at all.

This was real. 

It was so real, he could almost touch and feel these feelings with his own hands.

Well, he could touch her.

This time, he was the one to move, to slowly caress her face, first with his hands, and then with his lips.

This was all so goddamn real, he could taste it in his tongue. 

“Hey, MJ.” Peter greeted, bubbly as always, in the next day. He was meeting with her and the gang at Betty’s garage. Gwen didn’t seem to be there yet. “It was fun last night.” He said innocently, because really, for someone so agitated as him, he never expected to be able to just stop there and watch the sky.

“Ew.” The rest of the gang said simultaneously, but in a tone of joke. 

“It was fun doing what?” Gwen, who seemed to appear out of thin air, asked. 

They froze for a second, and then they realized she had come from the kitchen's door of Betty’s house that was just there right near the garage.

“Huh, hey Gwen.” Peter greeted her. “I went to the movies. Right, Ned?”

“Oh, uhm, I don’t know. I was with Betty all night. But I’m really interested in this movie. Why don’t you tell us about it?” Ned answered.

Betrayal! Peter wanted to shout. 

But instead he tried to fix the situation.

“Fine. You know, it’s that movie starring the worst best friend in the world.”

“Oh, you mean, the one where the worst best friend in the world is sick of people keeping secrets.”

“No, no. The one where the worst best friend in the world keeps his big nose in places where it doesn’t belong.” 

Ned was actually proud of Peter for learning how to talk back to people even when he’s not wearing his Spider-Man suit, but in this moment, he concluded that Michelle’s influence was bad.

Not really. Just because Ned was apparently losing this argument.

And even though Flash loved watching this, he tried to distract and take Gwen to the basement. Damage control, right?

And after Stacy left, Betty protested. “Look, I’m sick of covering for your creepy, unnatural relationship. And I shouldn’t have to. I mean, Jones, you and Gwen have been friends for a long time, and you owe to her to tell her.”

Ned agreed. “Yeah, this is way worse than when you stole her top, and used it to clean out your sink.”

“Please, do something about it before this all blows up in our faces and we’re all screwed.” Betty requested.

And so they left to the basement too, leaving Peter and Michelle alone at the garage.

“MJ, do you really think we’re a creepy, unnatural couple?”

“Come on, that’s a crazy question.” Michelle replied sarcastically. “I mean, if this relationship wasn’t just little bit creepy and unnatural, I wouldn’t be in it.”

Peter laughed, and seemed to agree.

“So, I’ve decided I’m gonna tell Gwen.” Michelle told to Betty in the deposit room, turned MJ’s bedroom, inside the nasty basement. “About me and Peter.”

“Well, well. I’m glad you finally decided to listen to your conscience.” Betty said.

“It’s no my conscience, man. ‘Cause I don’t have a conscience.” She replied. “You know that. It’s just, ‘cause, you know, I figured if me and Peter might be together a little while, so…”

Betty’s face seemed to find some kind of realization, but Michelle hadn’t understand that facial expression just yet.

Peter walked into the basement, expecting to be just another day, instead he heard yelling. 

Michelle and Gwen’s voices. 

Uh-oh.

“You broke the code!” 

“What do you care about some stupid code anyway?” Michelle yelled back.

“All I care is that you shouldn’t break it!” Gwen shouted.

“Uh, guys?” Peter said.

“What?” The girls asked at the same time. The loudness of it made him grimace immediately.

Peter looked at Betty, Ned and Flash, and they all looked they were watching a storm.

“Why should you care that I’m messing around with Peter, huh?”

“I used to date him!” 

“Very briefly, and I dare say, you didn’t put much effort on it! Now what?”

“Hey… guys…” Peter tried again, his voice small. This time Gwen pulled him by his arm, as if he was little stuffed animal.

“So you just went behind my back?” The blonde accused.

Michelle pulled Peter by his other arm to her side. “C’mon, just because he looks like a puppy you want to keep on a leash, doesn’t mean that you own him!”

“I didn’t say I own him!” Gwen pulled his arm harder to her side. “But you didn’t have the right to do this!”

“So you’re saying you want to control his life? As if he’s a little puppet for you to keep forever?” Michelle also pulled him harder to her side.

Peter was trying to comprehend all the words about him being thrown around, and how his body was about to be torn in half.

“That’s not what I meant!’

“Then, what?” Michelle yelled.

“Hey!” Peter shouted, loud. 

Everyone went silent. 

No one had ever heard him raise his voice like that before.

Peter released himself from the grasping hands of the girls.

“I’m out. Don’t look after me.” He declared and left.

“Shit.” MJ whispered to herself. She made a move to go after him, but Ned stopped her, telling her to listen to Peter’s request to not follow him.

Gwen looked out of place.

“Hey.” Michelle broke the silence. “We’re better than that, and you know that. And that code sucks, but I’m sorry for hiding from you, okay?”

Gwen slowly nodded, taking in MJ’s words.

“But…” Michelle continued. “I’m not sorry about being with Peter.”

“Jones-” Gwen tried to say, but MJ cut her off.

“No, listen. I like Peter, I like him, I really do.” Michelle’s voice sounded vulnerable, and that was so foreign to her, but in that moment, not unnatural. “I’m not just messing around with him. This… This is important to me.”

Gwen seemed surprised. “You… you like him.” It wasn’t a question. “God, that’s crazy.” A laugh almost escaped the blonde.

Michelle smiled. “I know.”

“I- I just thought you were… you know. And I just thought that, uhm, I already hadn’t been really good to him, and, well, he’s a friend, I thought you were playing him, so.”

“I’m not, I’m serious.” MJ said. “And I have just this tiny inkling that he’s kinda happy hanging out with me, so… And you did say to him, and I quote, ‘I hope you find someone else’.” 

Gwen laughed. “Yes, I did. I’m sorry for yelling. It’s a stupid code, really.”

“Awww.” Ned and Flash simultaneously commented.

“Jones is really going soft.” Betty said.

“Get bent.” Michelle replied, getting her aloofness back.

The gang went for a group hug, but MJ slipped away. “Group hugs are only for after a near death experience.” She said, and went out. 

The gang was back on track, no one was going to be bitching around about damage control.

And now, she was rushing with thoughts of where Peter could be, but when the boy can swing freely between the most tall buildings of New York, there wasn’t much she could do if she didn’t find him at Brant’s house.

“Hey.” 

It was his voice. 

A big sigh of relief escaped her.

“I’m already going to start saying I’m sorry for-”

Peter interrupted her. “So… You like me. For real.” Again, it wasn’t a question.

“You heard that?”

“Yep. I couldn’t stand the yelling so I decided to listen from here. The garage is much peaceful.”

Damn him, and his super human abilities. 

“What… What are you gonna do about that, then? About me liking you.”

“Well, I guess I’m gonna have to ask you to be my girlfriend.”

Michelle’s eyes widened a bit, she tried to control her reaction, but she couldn’t hold her smile. 

“God, my boyfriend is such a loser, huh.” 

He laughed. 

That was maybe how she got here… His laugh. It was so good to hear, so good to see.

“Hey, come here.” Peter said as he softly held her arm, and leaded them to the Brant’s living room.

“What are you doing?”

He headed them to the stairs that led to the second floor of the house.

“Okay, stay here.” Peter said to MJ, and she stood at the first step while he went up another step. And with that, for a moment, he was slightly taller than her. “I can finally do this.” His hands softly tugged her bangs to her ear, and he kissed her forehead.

Michelle blushed. 

Of course, he had to do a fucking sappy, cute, adorable thing for her to blush.

MJ wrapped her arms around him, and tried to get her act together. “So… Word has it that you want to be defiled by me.” She smirked.

Peter was petrified. 

His whole face turned red in a matter of seconds. Michelle would never get tired of that sight.

“Who told you that?”

“Flash.”

“Of course.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna run now.” Peter said, and with the agility of one Spider-Man, he jumped by the stair rail, and ran.

God, she loved that boy.

Oops.

**Author's Note:**

> (English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)
> 
> And everytime I'm going to ask you that, because I really need to know, do you guys want me to keep going? Because I could, hehe. Please, let me know.
> 
> I repeat: If you have suggestions of possible scenarios you want to see, tell me! I won't promise anything, but it might inspire me some new ideas. 
> 
> Leave me a comment, please!! And reviews, I'd really love that! It's what keeps me going, so it's important.
> 
> (Apparently I use tumblr now, you can yell at me on @lurkingg-around)
> 
> Ps: My updates may not come as fast anymore this week, but if you guys are still around, I'll be back!!!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.


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